Insanity: Loving my Husband

"People do crazy things for love" my mom always said. In her case, she got married at 19 and finished college in 2 1/2 years. (Disclaimer: she does not recommend either of these things, and in fact, threatened to tan my hide if I ever attempted either.) However, I have to confess I never really quite believed this particular saying. Until I caught myself promising my husband that I'd pass his military PT (physical fitness) tests with him. (!!!)

Now why did I do that? Am I crazy? Well, yes, now that you mention it. Crazy in love :D

With that goal in mind, I also agreed to do a new workout with him that our church is offering this summer. It's called "Insanity." The workout, that is. Well ... and agreeing to do it, too.

To be completely honest, I'm kinda freaked out about it. In fact, I'm very intimidated by it. I'm the only girl doing it, after our first session yesterday I'm rather sore (and really unimpressed with my own endurance), and it's called "Insanity" for goodness' sakes!

I have a feeling that before the end of the summer I'm going to be very familiar with Isaiah 40:31:

"But those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint."

Out of context, yes. But you try a workout called "Insanity" and see what you use to encourage yourself to keep going.

I know what you're thinking. Seriously, woman, stop complaining. If you really don't want to do it that much then just quit. 

I'm primarily of Scottish ancestry. We don't just quit. 

But that's not what's really keeping me going. See, besides the obvious benefit of being in shape, there's also this thing called quality time with my husband that I'd really like to encourage. Surely, I could find another way to spend time with my husband? you say. Well, yes. I'd much rather do something else in terms of quality time. But as it turns out, he likes this kind of quality time.

What?! you say. Is he crazy?

Yup! Crazy in love :D

Recently, Allen and I have been watching a video series called "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. He's hysterically funny and does perfect imitations of the crazy quirks that both men and women have (I'd swear he lives with my family), but most importantly, he explains how biblical marriages are supposed to work by means of solid research and the even more solid Word of God.

"Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

- Ephesians 5:33

Now before you get your political and independent hackles all up, let me explain. (Believe me, no woman is more stubbornly independent than a Scottish one.)

This verse (and its context) isn't meant to suggest that women are inferior in any way. Rather, it is saying the marriages will work best when women feel loved and men feel respected. Think about it. Have you ever heard a man say in the middle of a fight "You don't love me"? Have you ever heard a woman's primary accusation be "you don't respect me"? Of course not. Because women want to feel loved in a marriage, and men want to feel respected in a marriage. Neither is wrong, and neither is inferior. They're just different, and that's okay!

This isn't to say that both genders don't need both love and respect, but just to suggest (again, with both biblical support and research) that each gender has a specific emphasis on one or the other. I can't go into the full explanation here, but Allen and I would highly recommend this video series and/or the conferences (my parents went to the conference). It won't address all of the nitty-gritty details (finances, number of kids, etc) that marriage counseling addresses, but it would be a great thing to do in addition to marriage counseling or together after you get married. For more information, visit www.loveandrespect.com. (For those of you who know my parents, talk to them!) 

I'm kinda excited about this series, can't you tell?! But before I digress too much let's get back to why I brought this up.

I learned in this video series several different ways that would motivate my husband to love me more (which would in turn motivate me and then motivate him and then me and then him, etc, etc, in a wonderful cycle). One of these things was what is called "shoulder to shoulder" activities. The research results that Dr. Eggerichs put forth was that women generally prefer face to face encounters where they can talk and feel connected. Men typically prefer shoulder to shoulder activities where they have a comrade in their activities even - and usually, especially - if they're not talking.

So there you have it. I'm doing a crazy workout with my husband to let him know with assurance that I am his supportive comrade in his PT requirements, his career, and his life.

Is it crazy? Yes. Is it worth it? Definitely! : )

Even if I don't lose a single pound or get any stronger or more fit, I'll know that I've accomplished something far more important: making a stronger and more fit marriage.

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

- Dr. Seuss

I'm totally there! (And I'm sure that doesn't have anything to do with how sore I am! ; ) I love you, Allen! <3